Legendary Player Statues
Upon getting vaulted, players are given wings and doused in gold to create a hall of statues inside the vault. This page mostly focuses on Parker, usually Pibling Loots Parker, the only one to ever escape the gold, albeit against his will.
Premise
- Once a player is presented to Lootcrates in the vault, placeholder
- After preservation is complete, Lootcrates
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Effect on Parker
- While no one figures out why in-universe, due to Parker's firewalker, higher body heat and roaming, the gold melts off him when he's due to roam, even when he's in the force field.
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The Wings
- Not designed to be carried on the back of someone who is aware of their presence and are incredibly heavy, damaging Parker's posture.
- Like real bird wings, they moult roughly twice a year. Lootcrates sometimes makes quills out of the shedded feathers, much to Parker's delight.
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The Semi-Centennial
- The statues are "revived", in a way, in order to play. They stay statues, but now move very artificially. When they're not on the field, they stand perfectly still in the dugout. Parker finds this incredibly unsettling.
- In order to hide from Aequitas that Parker wasn't preserved, Loots reluctantly
- Due to the heat of the suns (again mixed with Parker's body heat) he melts out in the middle of the game. The situation created by that is better elabroated on the Pibling Loots page.